I help couples, whether they are legally married or not, reflect and become more aware of their own patterns, and develop skills and tools to better manage stress, solve problems, communicate positively, resolve conflicts, build trust and intimacy in their relationships, and clarify their life goals and values. I work with couples on:
- Marriage preparation and marriage planning
- Stress and anxiety
- Co-dependency and boundaries
- Depression and post-partum depression
- Infertility and infertility treatment
- Parenting
- Infidelity
- Separation and divorce
- Life transitions and changing roles
- Family conflict
- Work life balance
In pre-marital counselling or marriage prep, I draw from emotionally focused therapy, emotionally focused family therapy, IFS, Terry Real’s work, mindfulness, and cognitive behavioural therapy to help couples enhance emotional intimacy. We do this largely through education, reflection and skill building around communication and connection practices, while also addressing the barriers to connecting and communicating productively and lovingly. While this can take about 5 or 6 sessions, it can take more depending on what comes up in the sessions that needs addressing. Couples can decide whether they want to stick to a more linear route or whether they want to address some deeper issues that may arise that interfere with the ability to do the work. Marriage preparation sessions do require homework.
When dealing with infidelity or other betrayals or ruptures, I draw on the same material to help stabilize the relationship, work to repair the ruptures, and facilitate growth. Esther Perel‘s work is really helpful in post-affair recovery work. I work to help those who have engaged in relationships outside the marriage, to help their partners in their recovery (keeping in mind this can apply to so many ruptures in relationships). I find this quote really resonates:
“The shift from shame to guilt is crucial. Shame is a state of of self-absorption, while guilt is an emphatic, relational response, inspired by the hurt you have caused another.”
If you are seeking help related to a separation or divorce, please read this information from the Ministry of the Attorney General on Family Law in Ontario.
Contact me now for a free, initial consultation. Email: cortney@ontariotherapist.com