I work with many clients either contemplating a breakup or going through one. Whether or not you are initiating the breakup (or even when it is mutual), and whether or not there is some relief in having it end, de-coupling involves loss and there is almost always pain associated with that. Whether it is the person, the families and friends associated with the relationship, or memories — be they good or bad — breaking up involves a change in our identities, and often adjusting our dreams or hopes for the future. De-coupling should therefore be treated as a process — however painful — and one that needs care, reflection and attention. Unfortunately, many people rush along into a new relationship (without having tended to the grief where needed) or throw themselves into work or another distraction or continue to monitor social media for any sign of their ex’s activities — all in an effort to avoid the grieving process. Embracing the process can help us grow and learn and become more resilient. The article below helps with some great tips – which includes taking an intentional break from social media. Another good resource — especially for women but also for men — is the Break Up Bible by Rachel Sussman.
