Most couples in long term relationships experience changes in their levels of sexual desire and needs over time. It is a major area of concern for many couples coming in for couples therapy or marriage counselling. This is often because a discrepancy in those levels occur between each half of the couple. There are many different reasons why changes occur with respect to desire and arousal. Couples sometimes seem surprised for instance, why such changes take place after having children, being caught off guard by the impact of changing hormones, priorities and sleep patterns. What follows is often a build up of resentment and anger around feeling misunderstood or having unmet emotional and physical needs. The research indicates that trying to get a couples’ sex life back on track is tough until they have both taken responsibility to work toward rebuilding friendship, fondness and trust. Once a spirit of mutual goodwill has been established or re-established, therapy can help a couple re-establish physical intimacy in a number of ways. One of those ways is through a sensate focus, which takes place through a number of steps outlined in the article link. While a sex therapist can help with that or other strategies, a couples therapist can help a couple work toward restoring those eroded emotional bonds, which is so crucial. The sooner you get help and get talking about the impact on other areas of the relationship, the better chance you have of finding your way back to healthier intimacy. If you and your partner feel you need help restoring those bonds, email or call for an appointment.
